Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Life Changing Expereince.
I haven't been drawing to much because of work. But I have been reading and looking at different comics I have gotten from the library. The other day I picked up some books about running creative businesses and I can't wait to jump into those.
todays journal s reflective though and less about animation but it all ties in. For a long time I have battled with myself hating myself and my body but in recent years I have been trying to except me for who i am and I realized how deeply it ties into my work as an artist and my ability as an animator.
There was a point in time 4 years about where I almost gave up on trying to even learn animation I had so many things going on in my life and I was so down I was right on the edge of giving up why I became and artist to begin with. I felt fat , ugly, and useless as a person ans as an artist.
Even after running away to school I still have no confidence in any of my work. But it was my chances that I took to go ahead and plunge into a whole different world and a different way of thinking that brought me back . Not only that it was meeting Dan Haskett.
He and his wife both have been more then art mentors but also life mentors. I think the day I sat down to dinner with them for the first time and asking them about themselves and there life and the work they do and then having them ask me the same and not being very confident. and Dan said something to me that turned my whole out look on my art life and around. He said "Arie don't you realize how good you are?"
I had to stop and question myself. Am I really a good artist. But I think the biggest lesson I learned was that no matter how bad I think I am everyone else seems to see something totally different in my and my abilities. I started to question my own thinking in a whole new level and I realized no I am not the best but I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for.
I started a linkedin account and one of the things I was nervous about doing was asking for recommendations on my page. But I went ahead and did so the other day when I realized that if you apply for jobs through linked in many people require a recommendation. I was reading over them and they are so wonderful. The thoughts people have to offer after having known me and worked with me were very surprising. I wanted to post them here not to brag but to inspire others that are artists and they feel down about there work and abilities cause you never really know what someone might see you that you don't see in yourself cause you are constantly telling yourself how bad you are how incapable you are. For me this is a reminder thatI am not just to hard on myself but I sabatoge myself in every way and all without seeing things from the perspective of the other people in my life:
“She has talent, she has drive, she has determination. Arie has a high sense of ethics, and believes in doing the best possible job. She has strength in handling the female figure. Already she is far ahead in the game, and keeps working to get better. Definitely an asset to any company using cartoon illustration, as she has a deep interest and pride in her cartooning.” June 22, 2009
Dan and Karen Haskett , Owner , Hasketts Unlimited!
was a consultant or contractor to Arie at Drawlikecrazy Studios
“Arie was a pleasure to work with during a hectic project; I highly value her easy going nature and excellent work results.” June 22, 2009
Top qualities: Personable , Good Value , On Time
hired Arie as a General Contractor in 2008
“Arie is a very talented cartoonist with a very good sense of how to animate. I would recommend her for a position as an illustrator, animator or character designer.” June 20, 2009
Doug Compton , animator/ director , Karmatoon Co.
was with another company when working with Arie at Drawlikecrazy Studios
“It was an absolute pleasure to work with Arie. She provided just the right mix of style and design to my project.” June 20, 2009
Top qualities: Great Results , Personable , Creative
hired Arie as a artist/illustrator in 2004
I think the responce I was most surprised about though all of them I cherish was the one from Mark Irwin because I only really corresponded with him through email. We had no personal conversations, we didn't go to lunch and talk about comics over beer and pizza. But he still had something good to say. And even more importantly he actually responded. I didn't think he would take the time out of his busy schedule for that and he did.
So here is what I want to say to any aspiring animator artist etc out there. No matter how bad you thing you are or how far you have to go to get better have confidence in your work and outwardly express it to all those that are interested.
If there is one thing in my career that has seriously hurt me and set me back it was my own self loathing and inability to be confident about my work and myself. Fear sets in cause you think you aren't good enough and you don't push yourself to do more that what you are doing cause you are worried others won't except you cause you don't except yourself. As result you have to work that much harder to prove yourself cause you have to prove yourself to 2 people, yourself and your client
Anyway I gotta get to work I hope you find this educational cause it took me 30 years to recognize that I have been beating up onmyself and just being mean to Arie. I treat myself worse than anyone else I know. I wouldn't want to be my friend if I talk to friends the way I talk to me.
Keep drawing. 99% practice and 1% theory.